Dreamscape
by Reija Linn
Summary: A Divination class in the Marauder's fifth year confronts Remus with memories. Slash.


Title: Dreamscape  
Author: Reija Linn (T'Reija)  
Email/Feedback: theganan@gmx.de or thiari@theganan.de  
Archive: Azkaban's Lair, ff-net. Others please ask beforehand and leave the full header intact.  
Originally posted: SBRL list  
Codes: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, slash, PWP-ish  
Rating: [R]  
  
Summary: A Divination class in the Marauder's fifth year confronts Remus with memories.  
  
Spoilers: Haven't read the books? Do so. Right away. Do not eat, sleep or pause until you're finished. Then come back.  
  
Warnings: male/male sexuality and/or relationship(s) featured within. Don't like, don't read, don't flame. Simple really, though seemingly not simple enough for some dim witted clots out there.  
  
Legal disclaimer: I never have, nor ever will, owned the rights to the setting of the Harry Potter books or the characters featured within. The use of said settings and characters by me is for non-commercial purposes only and does not mean to infringe upon the given legal rights that belong to Mrs. J.K.Rowling and those she has associated them with.  
  
Notes:  
(1) Just came back from my school trip today. I'm in nurse training, as some of you know, and the school trip was actually a three-day seminar about death and dying, which, in itself, was pretty intense (not to mention the intensity of feelings that came about later when the teachers were gone and the al-co-hol flowed freely...). And, every time I feel something very intense, I write a song about it or compose a poem, or get it out of my system by writing a story. This is the first of a couple of stories the seminar inspired, and - ashamed as I am to admit it - during our meditation exercise at the beginning, the exact same thing happened to me as it happens to Remus in the story ;). My peers were *very* humoured, indeed, when I told them about it ;)  
(2) I am totally aware that at one or two points in this story, Remus suddenly switches from "he" and "his" to "you" and "your". Don't let that irritate you - it's perfectly intentional.  
  
Dedication: For my teacher, who despite being quite exasperating at times, made this seminar worth it. And for my friend, whom I cannot forget, even though he is with someone else, and whom I will never begrudge the happiness he has found, no matter how lonely this sometimes makes me feel.  
  
  
DREAMSCAPE  
By Reija Linn (September 2002)  
  
"See you later, Remus, Peter" Sirius Black exclaimed cheerfully before being pulled off by his best friend James Potter. Their classroom was quite a bit away, so they had to hurry least they get detention for coming too late *again*. Remus shook his head, grinning. Sirius had 'escorted' him to his Divination class since third year, despite the fact that his and James' classroom was situated in the opposite part of the castle. It was the only lesson the Marauders spent apart - they had all chosen Ancient Runes and Care of Magical Creatures, but while Sirius and James had also taken on Muggle Studies, Remus and Peter had decided on Divination. And ever since he'd collapsed in the hall one day on his way to Divination, Sirius insisted on accompanying him there, despite Remus' protests. Remus himself was touched at the sentiment, but bothered by the fact that Sirius obviously felt he had to protect him even during such a simple task as going to a classroom alone, or rather, with Peter.  
  
As the two boys entered the room, the first thing they noticed was that all the small, round tables and wooden chairs had gone. Instead, thick, woollen blankets were spread all over the floor, soft cushions laying on them. The biting scent of incense lay in the air and Indian-sounding music played softly in the background.  
  
Professor Esther Jones, a witch around 35 whose hair was completely grey-white despite her age, sat at the far end of the classroom on a cushion, legs folded, hands on thighs, thumbs and middle fingers forming an 'O' each. Her eyes were closed. Remus looked around. They were complete save for Augusta Robertson from Ravenclaw.  
  
For a minute in two, the class stood in the room uncomfortably, no one daring to chatter or even move around, afraid of breaking their teacher's trance. Professor Jones was okay, but she was very peculiar about her meditation exercises and wouldn't take nonsense from her pupils.  
  
At last, Augusta arrived. The moment the door closed, the Professor opened her eyes, smiling at the class.  
  
"Good afternoon. We'll start the lesson today with a meditation exercise, upon which I will lead you through a dream voyage. Please take a seat anywhere in the classroom, but leave each other enough room for lying down."  
  
The class scurried to comply. Finally, when everyone had found a spot and had grabbed a cushion, the Professor continued. "Now, we went through meditation, so you know what to do. Make yourselves comfortable. Sit down, lie flat on the ground, cross your legs, stretch them out. Whatever you feel makes you relax. Close your eyes. Breathe, feel each intake, each exhalation of breath individually, as if the world turned around that breath in that moment - which, by the way, for you, it does. Try to focus your mind on breathing. Cast out your surroundings, your thousand thoughts of the day, the lessons, what's for supper and how the hell am I supposed to tell my parents that I won't be on the top of that class. Focus, instead, on yourself, the inner you, the one that has no need for petty, random thoughts. And never forget to breath, alright?"  
  
Remus had taken a seat far off from the pot of incense. The stuff made him feel dizzy, though Jones never let it cloud the air too much. He tried to relax, as the Professor had told them to. Meditation was never an easy thing for him. As soon as he'd convinced himself *not* to think of all kinds of stuff, he noticed that he thought about not thinking, which provoked a philosophical, internal dialogue about whether this was really thinking at all, which then again lead to thinking about the humour of life itself, which then, inevitably, lead to thoughts about Sirius Black.  
  
Sirius Black with his raven hair, longer than the school code allowed, but he came through with it, if only because his charm always managed to soften the teacher's hearts to go lenient with him. Sirius Black, with his smile, his outgoing character, the way he smirked after making an ironical statement. Sirius Black, the heartthrob of almost every girl in school. Sirius Black, who had once persuaded the other three Marauders to sneak out of school in the evening and have a drink at the Three Broomsticks. Sirius Black, who had, with his most dizzying of smiles, persuaded Rosmerta, the young waitress on duty, not to tell on them and bring them a round of bitter. Sirius Black, who, after returning from Hogsmeade, had crept into Remus' bed, pressing himself tightly against his friend in embrace. Sirius Black, with whom he had almost, but not quite, made love.  
  
Still, after a while, Remus managed to clear his thoughts, concentrating on breathing as if this was a tremendously difficult task that could only be done with the utmost concentration, never mind he did it every second of his life. Slowly, the breathing sounds of his classmates, the incense-filled air, the Indian music, and the ground beneath him faded from his perception. He was dimly aware of a voice, speaking from afar, and strained to listen to the soft-spoken words.  
  
"You feel totally relaxed. Your body is safe and warm. Your mind is calm. All the worries of daily life leave you, as trees shed their leaves in autumn, as if a heavy load is lifted of your back. Your breath flows slowly, you can feel it entering your body, flowing through your blood, leaving you again as it rejoins the air outside. You feel the warmness this gives. Your mind is at peace. It envisions a place were you feel utterly loved, utterly warm, a place, where coldness has no place."  
  
/Sirius arms around me, his body pressed so close to mine, his naked skin on my skin, my leg between his thighs as his fingernails slowly, softly move over the skin on my back.../  
  
"You feel safe in this warmness that surrounds your body, all petulance and fear is gone as you let yourself feel the heat, as your body becomes one with the heat."  
  
/... his breast on mind, so close it is hard to breath, but it is not confining, it feels as though his skin, his body are nourishing me even with oxygen as his body and mine become one in embrace, his face so close to mine.../  
  
"You feel the blood course through your body, warm blood, feel it course through your heart, driven by the force of it's beat, feel it course through your chest, your abdomen, feel it flow in the arteries and veins of your legs and arms, reaching even the smallest toe, your fingertips. You can feel the blood pulse in your temples, in the back of your eyelids, in your lips, nourishing you..."  
  
/... your lips so close to mine... only an inch away as you press my mouth to your cheek... Slowly, afraid of breaking the intimacy between us, I turn my head slightly, my lips now touching yours, so softly, but a feathery touch, not yet a kiss, only slightly parted, as your hand still strokes my back, your nails now scratching a little harder at the back of my neck, trailing down my spine.../  
  
"You feel the blood in your lungs, each breath nourishing it, reviving. You feel the life in each breath as you intake, you feel the eternal cycle as you exhale, only to inhale anew."  
  
/... my lips, parting, as yours separate, still not a kiss, but a closeness so intimate as my breath flows into you, as I feel yours flowing into me, circle of warmth as our breaths become one, as the feeling of being two separate beings totally dissolves, for as I exhale, I inhale at the same time, knowing my breath flows through your respiratory tract, fills your lungs with air, renewing the blood that flows in your veins, reaching even the smallest blood corpuscle, and as I inhale, I know it is your breath that gives me life, as if you were oxygen itself.../  
  
"Again, you feel the blood pulsing in your vessels, knowing that the air you have breathed has revived it anew, knowing that life itself flows through your body, and you feel how it holds you warm. You can feel the warmth spread, feel it centre at one point, and you focus your mind on this part of your body."  
  
/... I am dimly aware of Professor Jones' voice, but all I can feel is the warmth in my lower abdomen, spreading, heating the middle of my body, blood pulsing as it thrives to fill this part of my anatomy, straining against the welcoming confinement of Sirius' body, and the blazing fire in my lips as I wish for nothing more than to bridge the distance between mine and his.../  
  
"For one moment, let yourself just fall into this heat, live in it, nourish yourself from it, let your whole body centre to that one point of it that needs your attention now, let all your warmth flood into this one point."  
  
/And I move forward slightly, my lips now fully against his, clashing as we finally, completely join in a kiss so passionate as none I have experienced ever before, and it feels as though every ounce of warmth in my body flows into my abdomen as our hips join even closer than before, muscle on muscle, my thigh between his, my hardness against his own.../  
  
"And then, separate yourself from this point again. Let your breath flow out of your body, let your mind wander with it, let yourself feel free and unbound as your spirit flies. Perhaps you float freely, or perhaps your grow wings, maybe you feel your spirit body as that of a bird, in any case, you feel yourself fly higher, and higher, feel yourself leave the ground, feel yourself drifting by the power of your own will towards the sky..."  
  
/Reluctantly, I attempt to leave the warmth the memory of Sirius' arms around me provides, but I find that though my mind spirals higher as I envision myself in the form of a large bird, the warmth does not leave me, instead, it travels with me as I drift towards the blue sky, as I regard the trees and meadows, the lush green and bronze and copper tones of the forest below me, as I feel the cool air make way for me.../  
  
"You can see the lands beneath you, but not from a single angle as if you were trapped on the ground, you can see it from far above. Perhaps you know the landscape, perhaps you have seen it before, in life, or in a dream, perhaps it is totally unknown to you, yet you do not feel lost, because you can see it all in all it's beauty, and not just a fragment. Perhaps you can see lush forests, perhaps you are flying across flower-covered meadows, perhaps it is warm sand you are looking down on, or perhaps it is the cool, wide ocean. You let your mind wander as your spirit flies, let yourself be guided by the light towards a place where you know you will feel safe..."  
  
/Back to Sirius' arms, but the image will not come, because the knowledge of how scarce that moment was hinders me to return to the scene, and I try to think of a place where what we had that night can go on forever.../  
  
"Whether the landscape is known or not, you can see the way clearly before you, know the way to this place of warmness and security."  
  
/I remember the fairy tales of my childhood, especially those after the bite, and my mother telling me the story of Peter Pan. And after recounting the tale, she added, "Whenever you feel lonely, Remy, or are in search of a place where everything and anything is possible, a place where there is only love and warmth, envision the night sky and just remember to look out for the 2nd Star to the right, then go on on until midnight.../  
  
"Let yourself arrive at this place, and let the warmth there engulf you, this place that is yours in your heart and that you can always carry with you, wherever you go, whatever happens to you..."  
  
/... to Never-Never Land... for a long while, I remain there, in land where things are possible that can never be down here, and I feel more complete than I have ever felt since that night.../  
  
"And now, take a last look around at that place, plant it firmly in your memory, and know you can always return. Bid farewell to your spirit home, and slowly let yourself return to your body. Feel the breath and blood run through it once more, let yourself feel every fibre of your physical body..."  
  
The Professor's voice washed over Remus as he took his leave from Never-Never Land, and awareness shot back into him so suddenly he felt his body convulse. Quickly, he sat up from his lying pose, throwing a pillow to his lap least anyone notice the effect the Dream Voyage had had. Scarlet red, he looked around, but everyone seemed to be just coming out if it, and no one was looking his way.  
  
"Now," Jones said after everyone had orientated themselves again, "As homework for today, I want you to write an essay about your dream voyage, or those parts of it you can remember, in case you cannot remember everything. You can share as much as you feel comfortable with in the essay, and I assure you that no essays will be read aloud in front of the class, so I'll be the only one to read them. Write about your images, write about the feelings you had, or write about why you couldn't give in to the experience. No excuses for not handing *something* in, no matter what, as long as it's about the lesson. You can go, now."  
  
Thankfully, Remus' erection had somewhat subsided at the thought of writing about what he'd felt during the meditation. Mumbling an excuse to Peter, he jumped and hurriedly left the classroom.  
  
***  
  
Later that day, as the four Marauders shared supper in the Great Hall, Peter told James and Sirius about the Divination exercise, while Remus, red-faced, poked in his dinner, not daring to look at Sirius.  
  
"That's cool," Sirius said to Peter, who lit up in pride. He wasn't too good at most subjects, first on the list being Transformation and Ancient Runes, but he had a knack for Divination, for some reason, and loved to tell the others about his experiences in that area. "So, Remus, what did you see?"  
  
Remus face felt as if it was on fire.  
  
"Um... I... can't remember, really. It was only a dream. Quite ridiculous, probably..."  
  
The End 


End file.
